You Can't Spell Chump without Ump

It's one thing when Patti LaBelle pulls a Sweeney Todd on the lyrics of F. Scott Key's "Star Spangled Banner." Memo to Lady Marmalade: Skylights don't gleam. It's twilight, and has ever been thus.

Artistes can make mistakes and gloss them over, or even turn them into fresh art-- happy accidents, as they're sometimes called.

Such is not the case with athletics, and its on-field officials. You screw up in the World Series, and you are doomed to a rep more tarnished than Reggie Bush's Heisman.

Tonight, my beloved Phillies were the recipient of an obviously blown call by third base ump Tim Welke in the bottom of the first. With one out and runners on first and third, lead runner Jimmy Rollins was halfway to home when Rays starter Andy Sonnanstine speared a Shane Victorino one-hopper. Rather than whirl and throw to second for the inning-ending double play, Sonnanstine for some strange reason decided to eliminate Rollins.

So he did what every Little Leaguer is taught to do. Run toward the runner and force him to head toward his original base. Sonnanstine did, and J-Roll scurried back toward third, happy at least that he'd kept the Phils out of the double play, and the inning alive.

Sonnanstine's toss to third baseman Evan Longoria was accurate, and Longoria whirled and swiped the diving Rollins quite thoroughly and intimately in the caboose as the 2007 NL MVP laid out for the bag.

Maybe Tim Welke's not an ass man. But whatever the reason, HE MISSED THE CALL. Signaled Rollins safe. Of course, Longoria, who hasn't made decent contact all Series long with a horsehide, is irate because he full well knows that he just pressed more flesh than Sarah Palin typically does at a swing-state lumberjack convention.

Five pitches later, an understandably befuddled Sonnanstine (who witnessed the hot-corner colonoscopy himself) walked Pat Burrell, forcing in the Phils' first of ten runs and sending Citizens Bank park into an uproar.

But then again, maybe the Phillies deserved a little turnabout injustice, after what umpire Tom Hallion did to sweet Jamie Moyer's miraculous defensive play in Game Three... (more on that, tomorrow)